sample admission essay

While you can think of many interesting stories to tell about yourself, relaying it your reader is not always as easy as you think.  So how can you get readers hooked from beginning to end?  Expert writers advise that you should incorporate different styles to make the essay more interesting and reader-friendly.  The admissions panel surely won’t waste time reading a personal statement that’s filled with pure random thoughts, and without any clear idea where it’s heading.  Aside from the use of varied sentence structures, another way to improve your writing style is to use rhetorical questions.

Writing and identifying rhetorical questions

For smooth transitions from one idea to another, you can use rhetorical questions to break free from monotonous lines.  Although rhetorical questions are not meant to be answered by the reader, they should be supported with additional materials for discussion.  You can lead readers into more details that will support the main idea or thesis statement, or use these questions to introduce a new topic.

As much as possible, you want to connect to the readers with your personal style of storytelling.  Through this stylistic approach, you may imagine your reader nodding his or her head in agreement to what you just said.  An effective essay is one that appeals to the reader.

Why rhetorical questions can help you hook your readers

When used properly, rhetorical questions add excitement to reading.  They also serve the purpose of grabbing your readers’ attention, making them consider your points and even evoke emotions from them.

In a sense, it also adds to the suspense.  Whether used as an intro for a new paragraph or as conclusion, they leave readers somewhat hanging– wanting to get more information from you.  These questions also make them think for themselves about the ideas you’ve just presented.

Tips in using rhetorical questions in your essay

Rhetorical questions are used to challenge your thoughts or stress your points in the article.  Although they are considered a stylistic approach to writing, they should be used sparingly.  When filled with too many questions, some readers may feel rather confused or overwhelmed with the ideas you’re presenting in your essay.

Most rhetorical questions are written as a call to action.  This style gets reader hooked and makes them want to get to the bottom of the page to satisfy their curiosity.

Reading a sample admission essay can be a great way for you to learn how to use rhetorical questions effectively.

If you are an immigrant to the United States and you are applying to a US school, you may find it rather difficult to deal with all of the demands of the application process, especially your admission essay.  The great news for immigrants is that they may have the upper hand when it comes to writing an admission essay that is original, unique, and interesting — the three qualities that most admissions committees look for.  Because the objective of the admission essay is to introduce yourself to the admission committee, you can use your experience as an immigrant as the topic for your essay.  Read on to learn more about how you can use your experience as an immigrant for your admission essay.

Benefits of writing about your immigrant experience in your essay

The main benefit of writing about your immigrant experience to the United States is that you have a perspective that is different from non-immigrant applicants.  Because many schools try to diversify their student body by accepting students from different backgrounds, your status as a US immigrant gives you an edge over some of the other applicants.  Basically, it just depends on how you discuss your experience as an immigrant.

Another benefit of being an immigrant is that you can write about the adversity that you have had to overcome, as well as the adjustments you had to make when moving to the US.  Moving to a new country can be quite demanding, especially considering what you are leaving behind in your home country.  You can use these hardships and challenges as topics for your essay.

How to effectively discuss your immigrant experience

To discuss effectively your immigrant experience in your admission essay, you will have to find an angle that highlights your personal development.  For example, you may want to discuss the challenges of learning English and making other cultural adaptations to persevere and continue to succeed in a completely new environment.  You can also discuss some of the life lessons and significant realizations that you have come across as a result of witnessing two separate cultures (that of your home country and that of the US).  Remember that your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the admissions committee about who you are, what you have accomplished, how you have become the person you are today, and why you deserve to be accepted into the school you are applying to.

Things to avoid when writing about immigrant experience in your essay

When writing your admission essay about your immigrant experience, there are certain topics that you may want to avoid.  One topic that you should try to avoid is a direct comparison and contrast of your native country and the US, unless you discuss the topic in relation to your personality or your future goals.  You should also avoid controversial or sensitive topics relating to race, culture, or ways of life.  Finally, avoid writing an essay that will make you sound like an ambassador for everything related to your country or to the United States.  In the end, your essay should be about you and not about all of the other aspects regarding your immigrant experience.

Making the decision to become a lawyer can be one of the biggest steps that you take in your life, especially if you are from a family of lawyers.  Coming from a family of lawyers can have many advantages for those who are planning to become lawyers themselves.  Regardless of whether or not you are directly related to lawyers, though, you will probably have to enroll in law school to get prepared for the bar exams.  Getting into law school can be difficult, but you have good chances of getting admitted if you do a great job on your application package.  Perhaps the most important application requirement is the personal essay.(1)  Read on for some tips on indicating in your personal statement that you are from a family of lawyers, and other basic tips on writing your law school personal statement.

Doing your research: taking a look at well-written sample law school personal statements for valid reasons to go to law school

Before you begin writing your law school personal statement, you may want to start out by doing some research and gathering samples.  Sample law school personal statements can help you brainstorm for ideas and understand the basic format of the essay.  Try to get a good grasp of the tone of the essay and how the ideas are developed in the essay.  Aside from looking at examples of well-written essays, you may also want to look at poorly written ones, so you know what mistakes to avoid.(2)

Writing your essay :  using the characteristics of well-written, family-focused law school personal statement examples in your draft

Now that you have a good idea of what it takes to write a good family-focused law school personal statement, you can get started on your first draft.  Take some time to reflect on the research that you composed and think of how to make your essay even better than all of the samples that you read.  Concentrate on making your essay excellent in content, form, and style.(3)  Here is a list of some basic tips on writing your personal statement for law school:(4)
-  Make sure that your sentences are clear and concise.
-  Avoid all types of technical errors, such as spelling and grammar mistakes.
-  Try to let your character and personality show through your writing.
-  Always make your personal statement specific to the school that you are writing it for.
-  If you need more help, you may want to join a writing workshop for personal statements.

Winning your case : writing your own excellent law school personal statement by discussing family experiences and influences

One of the benefits of being from a family of lawyers is that you are probably already pre-disposed to the profession.  You can use this benefit to your advantage by writing a law school personal statement that is family-focused.  Not only is your background and family something personal, but it also offers many opportunities to discuss why you want to go to law school.  Before you get to writing your essay, be sure to take time to plan out what you are going to write and how you are going to write it.(5)  Try not to make it sound as though you are only going to law school because of the fact that you come from a family of lawyers.  Instead, try to focus on how your background has helped to form the values and virtues that it takes to be successful in law school and as a lawyer in the future.(6)

Some tips on mentioning examples in your family-focused essay: (7)
-  Focus on positive traits and try to eliminate any negative aspects.
-  Try to discuss how the examples have helped to sculpt your personality and character.
-  Find out what makes you unique in your family and as a person, in general, and expound on that.
-  Remember to concentrate on your goal with the personal statement. Introduce yourself and explain how your family background and upbringing has influenced you and your decision to apply for law school.

Making an appeal by learning a few more tips based on a creatively written law school personal statement sample

Writing a creative and interesting law school personal statement does not mean that you have to do something completely new and “out of the box.”  In fact, it would probably help to keep your essay simple, clear and concise, without too much humor or cliches.(8)  The best way to write creatively is to be yourself.  Many of the things that make you unique are precisely what interests other people.  Try not to focus too much on other people or family members.  Instead, keep the essay centered on you and let your personality and character shine through for who you really are.  Your essay is a venue for you to let the admissions committee know why you deserve a slot at the school.

(1) http://career.berkeley.edu/LAW/LawStatement.stm
(2) http://collegeapps.about.com/od/essays /College_Admissions_Essays_Samples_Critiques_and_Writing_Tips.htm
(3) http://bunny.ucdavis.edu/advising/law/handouts /tips_writing_your_law_school_personal_statement.html
(4) http://lawschool.about.com/od/applicationprocess/tp/personalstatement.htm
(5) http://www.bc.edu/offices/careers/gradschool/law/lawstatement.html
(6) http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/
(7)  http://www.sampleadmissionessay.com/category/law-school-admissions/
(8) http://www.yale.edu/career/students/gradprof/lawschool/lawapply.html#stat

When putting together your college application package, you will probably be required to submit an application essay.  While your transcripts, resume, and SAT scores will probably be the first thing that schools look at, your college application essay may just be the x-factor that gets you into the school of your choice.  Because of the importance of the application essay, it’s important to think of topics that are interesting and relevant to your application.  If you have had job experience in high school, you may want to focus on that topic, because it shows a sense of responsibility, hard work, and independence.(1)  Read on to learn more about focusing on your high school job experiences in your college application essay or personal statement.

Why including high school job experiences in your application essay or personal statement is helpful

The main purpose of the application essay is to serve as an introduction.  You are introducing yourself to the admissions committee and the college or university that you want to study in.  Writing about your high school job experiences and how they have helped to develop your character is a good way of introducing yourself through your college application essay.  Even just the ability to balance school life and work life is a great advantage of those who worked through high school, which is why it can be favorable for you to write about such a topic.  Working while studying helps to build work ethic, responsibility, and character – three key traits that many admissions committees look for in applicants.(2)

How to discuss what you’ve learned from high school job experiences in your college application essay or college entrance essays

When writing your college admissions essay about your high school job experiences, the number one pitfall to avoid is listing and enumerating.  The resume and personal information that you submit along with your application package will already have the basic information on your achievements and practical experience.  Try to avoid merely listing the jobs or experiences that you have had as a working student and, instead, tell the story of how you have learned valuable lessons, developed important values, and practiced certain virtues.(3)  For example, instead of talking about the kind of work you did, try to single out an instance when you had to make an important decision that helped you learn a lot about yourself, your work, and your life in general.

Aside from the subject matter, you should also concern yourself with the mechanics of the essay and how you present yourself in the essay.  First, make sure that your essay does not have any typographical or grammatical errors.  Take time to edit your essay well and eliminate any and all technical mistakes.  Second, be as truthful and honest as you can.  If the admissions committee finds out that the information in your essay or your other records is not true, then you can forget about getting into the college, because they probably won’t accept you.  Finally, make sure to let your personality shine through.  Remember, you are trying to introduce yourself, so you should let your character and personality come through in your essay.(4)

How a sample application essay focusing on previous work experiences can help you write your personal statement

If you are having a hard time writing your personal statement, try taking a look at some sample application essays that also focus on work experience.  Reading sample essays is a great way to get ideas, inspiration, and motivation for your own essay.  Take note of the theme, tone, and format of the sample application essay so you can get an idea of how to go about your own essay.  Just make sure that you are using the sample admission essays to get inspiration and not to copy from.(5)  You may even want to use sample college admission essays to learn.  For example, you can critique certain sample essays to see what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes to make sure that the essay you write is better.(6)

Why comparing your personal statement draft with a sample application essay can be helpful

So you have finally finished your essay and you are looking for ways to improve on it.  One great way of editing your personal statement draft is to compare it with a sample application essay.  Read both of the papers side-by-side and see if there are any areas that you can edit to make your essay better.  Some of the changes you will make can be as simple as spelling corrections, while other changes may require you to rewrite an entire paragraph.  Make sure to go over your essay a few times until you are happy with it.  You may even want to have your essay read by a parent, teacher, advisor, or counselor to see if they have any helpful suggestions, corrections, or comments.  In the end, what you are aiming for is an excellent college application essay that will help get you a slot in the college of your choice.

(1) http://www.sampleadmissionessay.com/category/college-university-admissions/
(2)  http://www.sampleadmissionessay.com/category/college-university-admissions/
(3) http://collegeapps.about.com/od/essays/a/essay_tips.htm
(4) http://apps.carleton.edu/admissions/apply/essay_tips/
(5) http://businessmajors.about.com/od/applicationessays/Sample_Application_Essays.htm
(6) http://collegeapps.about.com/od/essays/a/EssayYouthBoard_3.htm

As you’ve probably read in websites and blogs, the personal statement essay is an important requirement in the application or admissions process of law school, med school, college, and other graduate schools. The personal statement essay you submit can make or break your chances of getting accepted into the school you applied to because this single piece of document is used by admissions staff in gauging your abilities and suitability of getting accepted into the institution’s academic community. So to make sure you don’t submit an awful personal statement, here are some characteristics and styles of badly written personal statement essays that you should avoid:

Idealistic but vague

One common mistake that applicants make in writing their personal statement essay is that they go on and on about how they will use their degree and education for the “betterment of society” or to “contribute to the community.” What these applicants fail to realize is that by simply stating these humanistic aims or desires without providing concrete details and information on how to go about achieving them, there’s a huge possibility that the admissions staff will interpret this as mere insincerity or artificial desire to help.

Use of highfalutin words

Many applicants still make the mistake of using big, polysyllabic, highfalutin words to express their thoughts and emotions in their personal statement essay. There are certain contexts when “big” words can be used to convey a thought or idea, but the rule of thumb in writing a personal statement essay is to stay conversational without being too informal. This means that the language you use in your essay should be easily understood while conveying exactly what it is you want to say. Not only will the use of highfalutin words make your personal statement essay sound robotic and detached, it will also make the admissions staff feel that you’re simply out to impress and not to express.