sample admission essay

Here is a free custom essay outline based on one of our network of blogs’ reader input.

Outline of the essay based on the reader’s biographic input

I.  Introduction
A.  Confucius quote: “Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.”
B.  Explaining how I got into music
C.  Explaining why music has become an inseparable part of me that I truly cannot do without

II.  My music education
A.  When my parents allowed me to take up piano
B.  My first, major individual achievement in music: grade 8 piano
C.  Joining the Chinese Orchestra Society

III.  How my appreciation and love of music grew
A.  As I learned to appreciate music, I felt greater freedom of expression.
B.  I felt that I was able to make the instrument sound the I wanted it to, express my thoughts and feelings in those very same melodies that captured me as a little boy.
C.  I continue to expand my knowledge, practice, and expression of music to this day.

IV.  Why I want to join this graduate music program
A.  I believe that this graduate music program will equip me with the tools, education, and experience needed to become the best musician I can be.
B.  Through my experience in this graduate program, I feel that I will be able to meet people who will become life-long friends and colleagues in the music world.
C.  Ultimately, my goal is to be the best musician I can be so that I may create music that, as Confucius put it, “produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.”

Full First Paragraph of the custom essay

Confucius, one of China’s most celebrated philosophers, once said, “Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.”  The first moment in my life that I felt this notion of my human nature being incapable of doing without music was when I was a young boy and my parents bought my sister a piano for her to take lessons.  I remember that every time she would play, I would be whisked away by the sweet melodies of the piano.  It was something that I felt an instant and direct connection with, as though I could not live without it.  At that point, I begged my parents to allow me to take piano lessons as well and it marked the beginning of a musical journey that I continue to this day.  Today, music is just as much a part of me as my body, my mind, my emotions, or my soul – truly a kind of pleasure which my being cannot do without.

Writing is a step-by-step process. When you write your personal statement, you should stick to a process if you want an essay that will not be easily forgotten by the admissions panel. Making a draft and outline is necessary. The draft and the outline will keep you in the right track when you write your essay. Pier 55 gives a guide on how to write your personal statement outline and draft.

Brainstorm for your personal statement

Brainstorming is the process in which you come up with ideas for the essay. You have to list down all the ideas that come into your mind. These may include:

Your most stellar accomplishments. Don’t bother listing down what you think the rest of the applicants are also going to include. You need to mention something that makes you stand out from the crowd. It can be as simple as spearheading a fundraising campaign for your club, as long as qualities such as leadership, creativity, or perseverance are highlighted.

The quantity of your accomplishments does not matter as much as its quality. This is why you should carefully choose the things you have to include.

Your ambitions. Ask yourself what you would like to do 5, 10 years hence. Is it in line with the program you are applying for? What sorts of accomplishments, equipment, or people do you need in order to consider your successful? How does this particular university figure into your future plans?

Talking about your dreams and ambitions is a great idea. It will give the readers a positive impression of you.

Your strengths and weaknesses. We all write about our strengths, but during the interview, you’ll mostly be asked about your weaknesses. You don’t have to write about them in the essay unless you need to explain away, but keep it in mind as you are composing just so there won’t be any conflict between what you write down and what you reveal in the interview. If you decide on including it, remember that it must always end in a positive note

You have to highlight how your weaknesses have helped you become a better person. Never use your weaknesses to appeal for the readers’ pity.

Choose a topic

Some schools provide the topics and there are also some who leave the decision up to you. Visit this blog for some tips on how to generate a topic for your essay.

Select topic: Selecting topic on which you can write easily is one of the basic elements of writing a good and remarkable custom essay. Choose the topic on which you can easily convert your thoughts, avoid using difficult topic for your custom essay.

It is also important that you choose a topic in which you are passionate about. In this way, you will be motivated to write your personal statement. If you like the topic, you can also have a lot of things to say about it.

Make an outline and draft

The outline is necessary because it will serve as a guide on the construction of your paragraphs. With an outline, you can ensure that your essay will be coherent and unified. After coming up with an outline, try to write the first draft. Don’t worry if your first draft has many errors. Throughout the process, you’ll probably make certain changes in your draft. You may even have to rewrite everything if you think you can come up with better ideas.

Your personal statement is one of your important tickets to the school of your dreams. This is why you have to plan your essay carefully. You have to undergo the process of writing, from planning, brainstorming, jotting down notes, to making the outline and draft. After you have written your essay, you should edit and proofread your work several times to ensure that it is flawless and perfect.

When writing your admission essays, it is very necessary that you start your essay with great impact while ending it with a big bang at the same time. But, how well you will create an impact on your essay depends on your introduction. Introduce your essay with a very strong introductory paragraph with which you will create a content that should have depth. This will keep the interest of your readers to read on your article until the end.

Your readers as one of the most important factors when writing your essay

Always consider the most important factor when writing your personal statement, the admissions panel. Make sure you instantly establish a connection with your readers, after which you maintain that interest to lead them until the end of your personal statement.

Creating a strong impact on your readers

Start off by writing a very strong opening statement or a line with a good and catchy introduction that will grab the attention of your readers. What�s more important is to be able to hold the interest of the readers until the end by using that same impact.

You should make your introduction just about one paragraph to display a deductive nature. In other words, leave the rest to your readers to keep them reading on. Sustaining the interest of your readers is very essential if you really want to take that first step to your dream school.

Other tips in creating an impact on your readers

Aside from using the usual strong opening statements to create impact and, therefore, draw your readers into the essay, you may also use in your opening statements some questions, quotations, and anecdotes to create an impact on your readers. However, you must be careful because most of the time, the opening statement sets the tone for how the essay will go. Therefore, always make sure your introduction complements the rest of your essay.

Related links:

Essay writing styles – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Admission essay topics – About possible admission essay topics
Paragraph structure – About creating an effective paragraph structure
Effective Introductions – Five effective essay introductions
Writing strategies – Simple essay writing tips for beginners

Writing a personal statement can be very nerve-racking. So if you are a student writing your admission essay, the very first tip you must follow is that you must begin writing way before the set deadline. This will not only lessen the burden of pressure on you but will allow you to make way for the much needed improvement on your personal statement.

Brainstorming ideas for your essay

Put together a listing of all your ideas, then write your first draft without having to worry about anything. Relax for a while and come back for your first draft after to make the final revisions. It would be best to read your revised draft out loud to detect any inappropriate use of words. And when you prepare your final draft, make sure you have brainstormed already, pouring in all possible ideas for the essay. Make sure that the essay is grammar and spelling error-free.

Tips in organizing your admission essay

To have an organized essay, always make sure that you follow the directives of the instructor. And once you have brainstormed all your ideas to start crafting your essay, make sure that you create an outline for them to present your ideas in a more coherent and organized manner. Also, you should also try mapping out your research objectives by creating subheadings or subtopics. This way, you can write your admission essay effectively, which would merit you your acceptance in the school you are applying to.

The importance of having an outline

Writing a personal statement is a very essential requirement of your school application. Considered the face of a student�s application, it is imperative that you exert all your time and effort into crafting an effective and beautiful essay. Start by writing an outline. Remember, a good essay can never do without a good outline. Your outline is the backbone of your essay, so without the outline, you might not come up with a winning essay.

You may start your outline right after doing some brainstorming and research. Then, you may provide additional details like your outlook in life, your determination, and commitment, as well as examples of your previous experiences to highlight your strengths. Emphasize how each has helped you develop into what you have become now. This will surely make your essay stand out among the rest.

Related links:

Essay writing styles – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Admission essay topics – About possible admission essay topics
Cliches and expressions – About the disadvantages of using cliches and trite expressions
Connecting to readers – About how to connect to your readers
Proofreading tips – All about proofreading tips and strategies

When writing your admission essay, you are usually confronted by various application essay questions. And tackling them entails supporting your answers with specific ideas and examples to convince the admissions panel to finally give you your ticket to your dream school.

Examples of common essay questions or prompts

There are various types of application essay questions that students are asked to answer in their personal statements. These include questions like “Who has been the most influential person in your life?” which is a very common scholarship prompt. Another is the application essay question that is asked to elaborate and explain on a statement like this: “Choose a book or books that have affected you deeply and explain why.” Indeed, there are so many essay questions that are so interesting to write about. Students may even attempt to talk on various topics ranging from the value of sacrifice and the importance of family to leadership, a very common essay prompt for the college admissions essay.

Tips in tackling common essay questions and prompts

If you are a student writing your admission essay, you will be confronted with a variety of essay questions, apart from the supplementary essay questions that the college admissions require from the candidates. Here are some helpful hints that you may use to come up with a sure winning personal statement.

When you are asked to answer an application essay question, you may always choose to write your essay by telling a story. Always relate the question asked to what has been its significant effect on your life, what great impact it has created on your personality, what risks you have taken, and how you handled each risk to emerge victorious. Emphasize how this experience has had great impact on your life and how it has helped you develop into the person you are now.

Other factors to consider (page limit or word count, format, etc.)

Take note of the format required for the personal statement before you answer the essay question. This gives you the chance to make a framework available for the rest of the details in your application. Do not go over the required number of words, and make sure that you use the limited space wisely.

Related links:

Personal statement tips – Practical tips on essay writing
College applications – All about college applications and personal statement
Essay writing styles – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Admission essay topics – About possible admission essay topics
Exceptional personal statements – About writing top notch admission essays

When writing your personal statement, make sure you know what exactly the admissions panel is looking for in a candidate. Generally, the admissions committee is in search of applicants who have the commitment, capacity, and moral fiber to pursue an MBA degree. The admissions committee would know right away if you are just getting into a program that you think you are interested in and will eventually be short of finishing it, or if you are the type of applicant to pursue the degree and really finish it till the end. That is why you really need to craft an excellent personal statement to guarantee your admission.

Ideal student vs. the real you

When writing your own personal statement, the admissions panel will look for the real you and not what is perceived to be the ideal applicant. They are looking for potential students who can easily fiddle with the new learning environment they are thrown into. The admissions committee, of course, would want to produce graduates who will later on emerge as leaders or achievers.

Exceptionally high grades vs. life experiences

You don’t have to detail your academic achievements to guarantee a winning personal statement. What is most important is that you first establish a connection between you and your reader. This will definitely grab the attention of your reader and will eventually lead to a liking, which could play a very significant role in your application. Remember, the admissions officers look beyond high grades and academic achievements. They are also now looking into the ounce of motivation and determination a student has in dealing with life experiences.

Finding the right mix

A sure tip for a winning personal statement is balance. Achieving the right mix between being the ideal student and the real you amidst life experiences is the best concoction for getting into the school of your choice. Having singled out all your academic credentials, skills, and achievements and matching them well with your determination and persistence will truly give you the homerun to your dream school.

Related links:

Admission essay tips – Writing about your experience in your essay
Paragraph structure – How to make effective paragraph structures
Cliches and expressions
Proofreading tips – Basic proofreading tips
Personal statements – Tips on writing personal statements

Writing an admission essay can really be nerve-racking for most students. The apprehension of being able or not being able to come up with an effective essay that will stand out, topped with the anxiety of getting either accepted or denied in their dream med school is sure enough to crush a young student’s heart. However, there are various tips to come up with a relevant personal statement. Learn how you can actually weed out irrelevant information from your essays.

The importance of submitting a concise and well-written essay

As we always say, your personal statement is your main ticket getting admitted to your school of choice. Therefore, it is very important that you submit a concise and very well-written essay that will guarantee your admission. With the boatloads of personal statements the admission officers have to read, they have no more time to spare for non-sense. So, the moment they set their eyes on your essay and your essay spells T-R-I-V-I-A-L, then surely, you’ll miss going to the school you are aspiring for.

How to weed out irrelevant details from your essay

Here are some tips on how to improve your personal statement to make it stand out:

First, stick to the theme of your essay. Make an outline to know which areas more focus. That way, you will know where to focus your discussion. Scrutinize your essay for any ideas and words that would only mean impressing your readers. Your tone of writing must be relaxed and informative but never bragging. Don’t talk too much about your stories and your life. Have a sense of focus. Check your final draft to see if there are no big words that might only confuse your readers. Weeding out pointless details and redundant statements in your admissions essay is a protocol before submitting it. The admissions panel will never spare time for redundancy.

Getting feedback from others

Let others read your essay. Ask for straightforward opinions and constructive feedback to help you improve your essay before submitting it. Let others check for long-windedness. Were you using too many words to the point that what you’re saying is becoming pointless already? Ask your friends to check for redundancy or for any sign of using big words instead of the more appropriate simple language.

Related links:

Rhetorical questions – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Overused expressions – About the dangers of using trite expressions in essays
Paragraph structure – About creating an effective paragraph structure
College applications – All about college applications and personal statement
Good personal statements – About how to write a good personal statement

One of the main objectives of an admission essay is to convince the admissions officer or committee of the school and program you are applying for to take you in. There are several topics that you can use for your admission essay, but one of the most effective is your set of academic objectives.

Your academic objectives as an effective essay topic

You are trying to get into a particular academic program and a particular school; it�s important that you tell your reader or readers why. Laying down your academic and career objectives before the admissions committee will help them understand how important getting into their school and program is in realizing your plans and goals.

Effectively discussing your academic objectives in your essay

You can start by saying that you want to finish the program that you are applying for that you want to finish it in their school. Then you can take off on your academic and career plans, carefully describing the reasons behind those plans and how you plan to achieve your dreams. Don�t forget to make sure that getting into the program and into the school are part of your academic objectives. State why you think the school will be able to provide you the knowledge and skills you need.

Other tips when discussing your goals in your essay

You don�t have to say that their school is your only choice or the program is the only program for you, but you can say that the program and school are your best choices. Make your essay short and clear, and be careful not to bore your readers with technical stuff. Give focus on your application, too, instead of just discussing your academic objectives.

Related links:
Rhetorical questions in your admission essay – Admission essay writing tips
Using essay samples – The right way to use essay samples
Your immigrant experiences in your admission essay – Essay topic tips
Sensitive essay themes – More essay writing tips
College admission essay topics – More essay topic tips

Your academic objectives in an essay – How to state your objectives in the essay
Your career plans in your admission essay – Essay writing topic tips for the MBA application process
Customized admission essay – Essay writing tips
MBA essay samples – Some topnotch samples for you
– Tips on writing your MBA essay

While you can think of many interesting stories to tell about yourself, relaying it your reader is not always as easy as you think.  So how can you get readers hooked from beginning to end?  Expert writers advise that you should incorporate different styles to make the essay more interesting and reader-friendly.  The admissions panel surely won’t waste time reading a personal statement that’s filled with pure random thoughts, and without any clear idea where it’s heading.  Aside from the use of varied sentence structures, another way to improve your writing style is to use rhetorical questions.

Writing and identifying rhetorical questions

For smooth transitions from one idea to another, you can use rhetorical questions to break free from monotonous lines.  Although rhetorical questions are not meant to be answered by the reader, they should be supported with additional materials for discussion.  You can lead readers into more details that will support the main idea or thesis statement, or use these questions to introduce a new topic.

As much as possible, you want to connect to the readers with your personal style of storytelling.  Through this stylistic approach, you may imagine your reader nodding his or her head in agreement to what you just said.  An effective essay is one that appeals to the reader.

Why rhetorical questions can help you hook your readers

When used properly, rhetorical questions add excitement to reading.  They also serve the purpose of grabbing your readers’ attention, making them consider your points and even evoke emotions from them.

In a sense, it also adds to the suspense.  Whether used as an intro for a new paragraph or as conclusion, they leave readers somewhat hanging– wanting to get more information from you.  These questions also make them think for themselves about the ideas you’ve just presented.

Tips in using rhetorical questions in your essay

Rhetorical questions are used to challenge your thoughts or stress your points in the article.  Although they are considered a stylistic approach to writing, they should be used sparingly.  When filled with too many questions, some readers may feel rather confused or overwhelmed with the ideas you’re presenting in your essay.

Most rhetorical questions are written as a call to action.  This style gets reader hooked and makes them want to get to the bottom of the page to satisfy their curiosity.

Reading a sample admission essay can be a great way for you to learn how to use rhetorical questions effectively.

If you are an immigrant to the United States and you are applying to a US school, you may find it rather difficult to deal with all of the demands of the application process, especially your admission essay.  The great news for immigrants is that they may have the upper hand when it comes to writing an admission essay that is original, unique, and interesting — the three qualities that most admissions committees look for.  Because the objective of the admission essay is to introduce yourself to the admission committee, you can use your experience as an immigrant as the topic for your essay.  Read on to learn more about how you can use your experience as an immigrant for your admission essay.

Benefits of writing about your immigrant experience in your essay

The main benefit of writing about your immigrant experience to the United States is that you have a perspective that is different from non-immigrant applicants.  Because many schools try to diversify their student body by accepting students from different backgrounds, your status as a US immigrant gives you an edge over some of the other applicants.  Basically, it just depends on how you discuss your experience as an immigrant.

Another benefit of being an immigrant is that you can write about the adversity that you have had to overcome, as well as the adjustments you had to make when moving to the US.  Moving to a new country can be quite demanding, especially considering what you are leaving behind in your home country.  You can use these hardships and challenges as topics for your essay.

How to effectively discuss your immigrant experience

To discuss effectively your immigrant experience in your admission essay, you will have to find an angle that highlights your personal development.  For example, you may want to discuss the challenges of learning English and making other cultural adaptations to persevere and continue to succeed in a completely new environment.  You can also discuss some of the life lessons and significant realizations that you have come across as a result of witnessing two separate cultures (that of your home country and that of the US).  Remember that your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the admissions committee about who you are, what you have accomplished, how you have become the person you are today, and why you deserve to be accepted into the school you are applying to.

Things to avoid when writing about immigrant experience in your essay

When writing your admission essay about your immigrant experience, there are certain topics that you may want to avoid.  One topic that you should try to avoid is a direct comparison and contrast of your native country and the US, unless you discuss the topic in relation to your personality or your future goals.  You should also avoid controversial or sensitive topics relating to race, culture, or ways of life.  Finally, avoid writing an essay that will make you sound like an ambassador for everything related to your country or to the United States.  In the end, your essay should be about you and not about all of the other aspects regarding your immigrant experience.