sample admission essay

When writing your admission essays, it is very necessary that you start your essay with great impact while ending it with a big bang at the same time. But, how well you will create an impact on your essay depends on your introduction. Introduce your essay with a very strong introductory paragraph with which you will create a content that should have depth. This will keep the interest of your readers to read on your article until the end.

Your readers as one of the most important factors when writing your essay

Always consider the most important factor when writing your personal statement, the admissions panel. Make sure you instantly establish a connection with your readers, after which you maintain that interest to lead them until the end of your personal statement.

Creating a strong impact on your readers

Start off by writing a very strong opening statement or a line with a good and catchy introduction that will grab the attention of your readers. What�s more important is to be able to hold the interest of the readers until the end by using that same impact.

You should make your introduction just about one paragraph to display a deductive nature. In other words, leave the rest to your readers to keep them reading on. Sustaining the interest of your readers is very essential if you really want to take that first step to your dream school.

Other tips in creating an impact on your readers

Aside from using the usual strong opening statements to create impact and, therefore, draw your readers into the essay, you may also use in your opening statements some questions, quotations, and anecdotes to create an impact on your readers. However, you must be careful because most of the time, the opening statement sets the tone for how the essay will go. Therefore, always make sure your introduction complements the rest of your essay.

Related links:

Essay writing styles – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Admission essay topics – About possible admission essay topics
Paragraph structure – About creating an effective paragraph structure
Effective Introductions – Five effective essay introductions
Writing strategies – Simple essay writing tips for beginners

When writing your admission essay, you are usually confronted by various application essay questions. And tackling them entails supporting your answers with specific ideas and examples to convince the admissions panel to finally give you your ticket to your dream school.

Examples of common essay questions or prompts

There are various types of application essay questions that students are asked to answer in their personal statements. These include questions like “Who has been the most influential person in your life?” which is a very common scholarship prompt. Another is the application essay question that is asked to elaborate and explain on a statement like this: “Choose a book or books that have affected you deeply and explain why.” Indeed, there are so many essay questions that are so interesting to write about. Students may even attempt to talk on various topics ranging from the value of sacrifice and the importance of family to leadership, a very common essay prompt for the college admissions essay.

Tips in tackling common essay questions and prompts

If you are a student writing your admission essay, you will be confronted with a variety of essay questions, apart from the supplementary essay questions that the college admissions require from the candidates. Here are some helpful hints that you may use to come up with a sure winning personal statement.

When you are asked to answer an application essay question, you may always choose to write your essay by telling a story. Always relate the question asked to what has been its significant effect on your life, what great impact it has created on your personality, what risks you have taken, and how you handled each risk to emerge victorious. Emphasize how this experience has had great impact on your life and how it has helped you develop into the person you are now.

Other factors to consider (page limit or word count, format, etc.)

Take note of the format required for the personal statement before you answer the essay question. This gives you the chance to make a framework available for the rest of the details in your application. Do not go over the required number of words, and make sure that you use the limited space wisely.

Related links:

Personal statement tips – Practical tips on essay writing
College applications – All about college applications and personal statement
Essay writing styles – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Admission essay topics – About possible admission essay topics
Exceptional personal statements – About writing top notch admission essays

When writing your personal statement, make sure you know what exactly the admissions panel is looking for in a candidate. Generally, the admissions committee is in search of applicants who have the commitment, capacity, and moral fiber to pursue an MBA degree. The admissions committee would know right away if you are just getting into a program that you think you are interested in and will eventually be short of finishing it, or if you are the type of applicant to pursue the degree and really finish it till the end. That is why you really need to craft an excellent personal statement to guarantee your admission.

Ideal student vs. the real you

When writing your own personal statement, the admissions panel will look for the real you and not what is perceived to be the ideal applicant. They are looking for potential students who can easily fiddle with the new learning environment they are thrown into. The admissions committee, of course, would want to produce graduates who will later on emerge as leaders or achievers.

Exceptionally high grades vs. life experiences

You don’t have to detail your academic achievements to guarantee a winning personal statement. What is most important is that you first establish a connection between you and your reader. This will definitely grab the attention of your reader and will eventually lead to a liking, which could play a very significant role in your application. Remember, the admissions officers look beyond high grades and academic achievements. They are also now looking into the ounce of motivation and determination a student has in dealing with life experiences.

Finding the right mix

A sure tip for a winning personal statement is balance. Achieving the right mix between being the ideal student and the real you amidst life experiences is the best concoction for getting into the school of your choice. Having singled out all your academic credentials, skills, and achievements and matching them well with your determination and persistence will truly give you the homerun to your dream school.

Related links:

Admission essay tips – Writing about your experience in your essay
Paragraph structure – How to make effective paragraph structures
Cliches and expressions
Proofreading tips – Basic proofreading tips
Personal statements – Tips on writing personal statements

Writing an admission essay can really be nerve-racking for most students. The apprehension of being able or not being able to come up with an effective essay that will stand out, topped with the anxiety of getting either accepted or denied in their dream med school is sure enough to crush a young student’s heart. However, there are various tips to come up with a relevant personal statement. Learn how you can actually weed out irrelevant information from your essays.

The importance of submitting a concise and well-written essay

As we always say, your personal statement is your main ticket getting admitted to your school of choice. Therefore, it is very important that you submit a concise and very well-written essay that will guarantee your admission. With the boatloads of personal statements the admission officers have to read, they have no more time to spare for non-sense. So, the moment they set their eyes on your essay and your essay spells T-R-I-V-I-A-L, then surely, you’ll miss going to the school you are aspiring for.

How to weed out irrelevant details from your essay

Here are some tips on how to improve your personal statement to make it stand out:

First, stick to the theme of your essay. Make an outline to know which areas more focus. That way, you will know where to focus your discussion. Scrutinize your essay for any ideas and words that would only mean impressing your readers. Your tone of writing must be relaxed and informative but never bragging. Don’t talk too much about your stories and your life. Have a sense of focus. Check your final draft to see if there are no big words that might only confuse your readers. Weeding out pointless details and redundant statements in your admissions essay is a protocol before submitting it. The admissions panel will never spare time for redundancy.

Getting feedback from others

Let others read your essay. Ask for straightforward opinions and constructive feedback to help you improve your essay before submitting it. Let others check for long-windedness. Were you using too many words to the point that what you’re saying is becoming pointless already? Ask your friends to check for redundancy or for any sign of using big words instead of the more appropriate simple language.

Related links:

Rhetorical questions – About rhetorical questions and other essay writing styles
Overused expressions – About the dangers of using trite expressions in essays
Paragraph structure – About creating an effective paragraph structure
College applications – All about college applications and personal statement
Good personal statements – About how to write a good personal statement

While you can think of many interesting stories to tell about yourself, relaying it your reader is not always as easy as you think.  So how can you get readers hooked from beginning to end?  Expert writers advise that you should incorporate different styles to make the essay more interesting and reader-friendly.  The admissions panel surely won’t waste time reading a personal statement that’s filled with pure random thoughts, and without any clear idea where it’s heading.  Aside from the use of varied sentence structures, another way to improve your writing style is to use rhetorical questions.

Writing and identifying rhetorical questions

For smooth transitions from one idea to another, you can use rhetorical questions to break free from monotonous lines.  Although rhetorical questions are not meant to be answered by the reader, they should be supported with additional materials for discussion.  You can lead readers into more details that will support the main idea or thesis statement, or use these questions to introduce a new topic.

As much as possible, you want to connect to the readers with your personal style of storytelling.  Through this stylistic approach, you may imagine your reader nodding his or her head in agreement to what you just said.  An effective essay is one that appeals to the reader.

Why rhetorical questions can help you hook your readers

When used properly, rhetorical questions add excitement to reading.  They also serve the purpose of grabbing your readers’ attention, making them consider your points and even evoke emotions from them.

In a sense, it also adds to the suspense.  Whether used as an intro for a new paragraph or as conclusion, they leave readers somewhat hanging– wanting to get more information from you.  These questions also make them think for themselves about the ideas you’ve just presented.

Tips in using rhetorical questions in your essay

Rhetorical questions are used to challenge your thoughts or stress your points in the article.  Although they are considered a stylistic approach to writing, they should be used sparingly.  When filled with too many questions, some readers may feel rather confused or overwhelmed with the ideas you’re presenting in your essay.

Most rhetorical questions are written as a call to action.  This style gets reader hooked and makes them want to get to the bottom of the page to satisfy their curiosity.

Reading a sample admission essay can be a great way for you to learn how to use rhetorical questions effectively.

If you are an immigrant to the United States and you are applying to a US school, you may find it rather difficult to deal with all of the demands of the application process, especially your admission essay.  The great news for immigrants is that they may have the upper hand when it comes to writing an admission essay that is original, unique, and interesting — the three qualities that most admissions committees look for.  Because the objective of the admission essay is to introduce yourself to the admission committee, you can use your experience as an immigrant as the topic for your essay.  Read on to learn more about how you can use your experience as an immigrant for your admission essay.

Benefits of writing about your immigrant experience in your essay

The main benefit of writing about your immigrant experience to the United States is that you have a perspective that is different from non-immigrant applicants.  Because many schools try to diversify their student body by accepting students from different backgrounds, your status as a US immigrant gives you an edge over some of the other applicants.  Basically, it just depends on how you discuss your experience as an immigrant.

Another benefit of being an immigrant is that you can write about the adversity that you have had to overcome, as well as the adjustments you had to make when moving to the US.  Moving to a new country can be quite demanding, especially considering what you are leaving behind in your home country.  You can use these hardships and challenges as topics for your essay.

How to effectively discuss your immigrant experience

To discuss effectively your immigrant experience in your admission essay, you will have to find an angle that highlights your personal development.  For example, you may want to discuss the challenges of learning English and making other cultural adaptations to persevere and continue to succeed in a completely new environment.  You can also discuss some of the life lessons and significant realizations that you have come across as a result of witnessing two separate cultures (that of your home country and that of the US).  Remember that your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the admissions committee about who you are, what you have accomplished, how you have become the person you are today, and why you deserve to be accepted into the school you are applying to.

Things to avoid when writing about immigrant experience in your essay

When writing your admission essay about your immigrant experience, there are certain topics that you may want to avoid.  One topic that you should try to avoid is a direct comparison and contrast of your native country and the US, unless you discuss the topic in relation to your personality or your future goals.  You should also avoid controversial or sensitive topics relating to race, culture, or ways of life.  Finally, avoid writing an essay that will make you sound like an ambassador for everything related to your country or to the United States.  In the end, your essay should be about you and not about all of the other aspects regarding your immigrant experience.

An admission essay is usually thought of as the most complicated part of applying to graduate school.  For some, it is also known as the personal statement because it is within this essay that you are asked to explain who you are, what makes you unique, and why you deserve to enter graduate school.  For many applicants, the difficulty arises when there are too many topics trying to be squeezed into one essay.  The key to an effective admissions essay is simplicity, organization, and order.  When you feel that you are ready to write your admissions essay, all you need to do is make sure that you have an effective essay paragraph structure in order to grab and keep your reader’s attention.

Review: Parts of a paragraph structure or essay

You may have already learned the basic parts of a paragraph in both grade school and high school, but it is always good to review in order to avoid complicating the task of writing.  First and foremost is the topic sentence; this is where you tell your reader what the rest of your paragraph is going to be about.  Aside from this, the topic sentence also helps you keep your thoughts and ideas under control by somehow limiting them to what your topic sentence states.

A basic formula for creating the perfect topic sentence is to begin with a specific subject, then to describe it with a specific feeling, thought, or attitude.  Once you have written your topic sentence, you can refer to it in order to write the rest of your paragraph, which is the body.  In the body, you are expected to tell the reader about your topic in specific details.  This can comprised several statements, each one relating to the topic sentence.  Finally, when you’ve finished with the body, you can now move to the concluding remarks (or, simply put, the conclusion).  Here, you are expected to wrap things up by explaining why you’ve mentioned everything in your topic sentence and body.

Write: Coming up with an effective paragraph structure

Although some people may already know the parts of a paragraph by heart, it is still difficult for them to come up with an effective paragraph structure.  The key to this is an interesting (and perhaps even intriguing) main topic.  Bear in mind that your reader(s) will be reading many other essays, which is why it is important for you to have a “catchy” or “unique” angle.  Once you’ve decided on the angle you want to take, you can now come up with an effective paragraph structure.  For example, if you are the artistic type, you might want to state your creativity in your topic sentence.  From there, you can begin every other sentence with a creative and witty tone or phrase, one that will keep your reader(s) engaged and entertained.

Check: Coherence as the key

No matter how creative you decide to make your admissions essay, always remember that coherence is the key.  You need to make sense and be clear about what you are trying to say.  When your writing is coherent, you are not only stating who you are through words, but also through form.  To be more precise, a cohesive paragraph structure is one that not only flows smoothly, but also proves self-confidence and enthusiasm.

Knowing what should be included in your admission essay is a must to be able to write a notable one.  This is why it is recommended that you read a sample admission essay to know the things that you have to include.  Aside from the sample admission essay, you also have to read various tips on the elements of an effective essay.  However, these are not enough.  You also have to know what should be excluded.  Read on to know the no-nos in writing admission essays.

Stay away from cliches

Writing cliche would stifle your creativity.  Cliches would make an admission essay uninteresting.  You have to keep in mind the reason why an admission essay is required.  Basically, it is the means through which the admissions officers could see a three-dimensional picture of you.  Do you want them to see you as an uninteresting person?  Remember that your essay reflects who you are.  This is why, as much as possible, show how dynamic and appealing your personality is by making your essay creative and interesting.

Your admission essay is not a poem

Creativity could spice up your admission essay.  But this element should be regulated.  Keep in mind that you’re writing an essay about yourself and not an ode to yourself.  This means you have to avoid ambiguity and the use of cryptic language.  Don’t give the admission committee a hard time deciphering you.  You should be the one to reveal yourself.  And you can do that by using simple words and expressions.

Don’t ask readers to go see a thesaurus

It is true that giving an impression that you are intelligent and knowledgeable would impress the admission officers.  But you have to make sure that you don’t overdo it.  Some applicants use jargons and highfalutin words to show that they’re knowledgeable.  This is not effective.  It could even have a detrimental effect on your application.  Using jargons shows a superficial intelligence.  If you want to show how intelligent you are, you can show it through the content; you can showcase your wit through what you are saying, rather than how you say it.

An effective admission essay is creative, but not to the point that it sacrifices the clarity of the content.  Giving an impression of intelligence is excellent, but it should not be overdone or your admission essay would give a negative impression about you.  The admission officers would think you’re just bragging.  You have to regulate everything.  Make sure that there’s balance in the elements that you use in your essay.

Photo Credit : ralphunden

Getting the attention of the admission committee should be the goal of those who aspire to get into a prestigious university.  There are many ways of getting the committee’s interest.  These include writing a notable admission essay.  But what would make your essay notable?

An essay could only be considered noteworthy if it is free from cliches and other overused terms and expressions.  You have to come up with fresh ideas for your essay and also fresh ways to express these ideas.  To do this, it is important that you know what are the terms and expressions that you have to avoid.  Read on to know the expressions that should not appear on your admission essay.

“I want to give back to the world”

It is good that you let the admissions committee know that you are a person who also thinks of others and who is willing to share what you have with the rest of the world.  However, you have to keep in mind that the “I want to give back to the world” line is already overused.  Hundreds of applicants before you probably used this line.  If you don’t want to remain faceless in the eyes of the admission committee, like others before you, why not think of other means to state your “I want to repay the world” idea?  Instead of trying to overwhelm the admission officers by stating something “big,” why not state it in a simple and subtle way?  If you do this, you’ll sound more sincere.

“I want to make a difference in one’s life”

Another superficial phrase you have to avoid is “I want to make a difference in one’s life.”  This sounds insincere.  Stating this would give the impression that you are desperate to catch the admission officers’ attention that you would say something that would make you appear so kind and selfless.  This is definitely not effective.

“I’m here to make my dreams a reality”

Last but not the least on the list is the phrase “I’m here to make my dreams a reality.”  Instead of writing this phrase, you could just write about your dream and talk about how your application can make your dream come true.  The rule is, be specific.  And importantly, show don’t tell.

You have to keep these phrases in mind and make sure that you avoid using them on your admission essay.  Just be honest.  You don’t have to say something “big” in order to be interesting.  The most important thing is be yourself and write something which no one else has ever written.  As a tip, read a well-written sample admission essay for a guide.

Photo Credit : PicsByCam

How to Find An Excellent Sample Admission Essay That Can Help You Come Up with a Winning Essay Focusing on Family Values

The concept of family values is a very thought-provoking subject for a thesis.  It is an excellent topic that you could use to come up with a winning essay.  Since the topic is so broad, you have to find ways to narrow it down.  Your school library or the internet might be able to provide you with more specific topics.  Having a specific topic to start your essay with allows you to have a more solid foundation to work on.  Having an excellent sample admission essay, however, offers even more.  Not only does it give you a more specific topic, but it also gives you an idea how on how to structure your whole essay.  You can even use your sample essay as a research material should you find interesting contents there.

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