sample admission essay

In this post, we publish the “raw facts” that went into a sample admission essay for college, the finished essay, and the outline we used.  Leave a comment and send us your feedback.

Raw Biographic facts and Admission Essay questionnaire answers

Admissions Essay raw Questions

Type of institution: Flagler College

Why are you applying to the institution:
Small school
Private College
Deaf Education program
Elementary Education program
Location in Historic St. Augustine
Close to the Florida School of the Deaf and Blind

Essay question asked by the application form:
Tell us something about your past experiences, present and future goals, and how Flagler College fits into these goals. Be sure to stay on topic and write a carefully considered, grammatically correct essay.

Your preliminary answer to this question:Had to take foreign language in high school and I choose to take ASL and I feel in love with it and I then knew I had to keep Sign language in my life. I then took a teaching assistant job in a public school and feel in love with teaching. It was then that I decided to put the two together, I was going to the teach Deaf. When I decided this, Flager College popped into my head due to their highly regarded education programs. I had wanted to go there since I was a little girl and now I knew it was time to apply.

Which favorite quote of yours applies to the question being asked by the application form?
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
- John Ciardi

What best symbolizes the reason you are applying to this instution?
It has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and its a small, private college.

Do you have a favorite song lyric that sums up the reason you are applying to the institution?
No

Have you overcome any obstacles/disadvantages?
Being able to pay to attend flagler

What do you offer this institution?
I am a strong-willed, highly focused student who values her education. I plan to excel through school with honors.

What do you offer society should you get a degree from this institution?
I plan to teach under privledged children in the deaf community.

Post your family history:
Both of my parents graduated from a two year college, never receiving any further education. They were married for twenty-seven years and were recently divorced.

Where do you want to be 10 years from now?
I want to have obtained my masters degree and be teaching at FSDB. I want to be married, own a house and have a happy family.

Finished Essay

In our lifetime, some decisions we make end up changing the course of our life altogether.  The simple but life-altering act of deciding whether to go after a dream and turn it into a goal, or to drop it and pursue something else, will eventually shape us into the person we will become.  I believe that, throughout the years, I have made such life-changing decisions, ones that I know will follow me wherever I go, ones that have made their mark on me as I try to make the most out of what I’ve been given.

One such decision I made was in high school, when I had to take up a foreign language.  Instead of opting to learn French or Spanish like the majority of the class, I chose to study American Sign Language (ASL) instead.  I have always been intrigued by the way that deaf individuals use their hands to talk to each other, and I figured that being given the chance to take up ASL as a foreign language in school is just the kind of opportunity that I don’t want to miss.

I became engrossed in my ASL classes, and I found myself loving it after just the first session.  I often practiced at home and read books about ASL, intent on learning more and becoming more proficient in this language that is so much different from what I’ve been used to speaking.  I knew right then that I just had to keep sign language in my life.  I had to practice it, and I had to find a way to use it to help others.  When I took a job as a teaching assistant in a public school, I realized that teaching is something that I love doing as well.  Making that realization, I was able to put together the two things I really love doing, and I made up my mind to become a teacher for the deaf.

I had always wanted to go to Flagler College, and my dream of becoming a teacher for the deaf strengthened my desire to enter this school.  There are various reasons why I am choosing this college instead of a university, one of which is that it is a small school.  To quote John Ciardi: “A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.”  With Flagler College, I know that I will get the kind of education I want and need.

As a child, I had wanted to enter this school because it’s a small, private college.  Now that I have a concrete plan regarding the path I want to take and the kind of profession I want to have in the future, I am more convinced that Flagler is the right school for me.  Its deaf education program and elementary education program are excellent, and I’d love to take up these programs because I believe that they will equip me with the knowledge and training I need to be an excellent teacher for deaf individuals. Aside from that, the location of the school is great, being right in historic St. Augustine, and near the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind.

One obstacle that I know I’d have to face is acquiring the funds I need to pay for my college tuition.  Coming from a family that is by no means rich, I know I’d have to do my own share and help my family out in their finances by paying for my tuition on my own, or with just a little help from my parents.  My parents have been married for 27 years, but they have just recently been divorced.  Both of them graduated from a two-year college, and they didn’t pursue further education.

With the economy in crisis, I know that both my parents are having a hard time making ends meet, and I don’t want to add to their burden.  Fortunately, during the past few years, I have diligently been thrifty and have opted to save up a good portion of my allowance.  I only spent for things that were necessary, and then I saved up what was left and put it in a bank.  I did this because I knew that I would have to pay for my college education someday.  Now I’ve got quite a substantial sum of money in the bank that I intend to use for my education at Flagler.  I must say that I am quite proud of myself for having thought about this obstacle ahead of time and for thinking of ways by which I could overcome it in order to fulfill my dream of going to college.

In case I get accepted at Flagler College, I know that I am going to do my best to excel in my studies.  It is actually my goal to do what I can to the best of my abilities, and to graduate from college with honors.  I have always been a highly focused, strong-willed student, and I value my education highly.  Because of this, I have always strived to excel, and I know I’ll always be the kind of person who would keep on chasing her dreams and keep on trying to reach her goals.  I intend to be a positive addition to Flagler’s student body, and when I graduate, I plan to fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher for underprivileged children in the deaf community.  Ten years from now, I think I’ll have obtained my master’s degree by then, and hopefully, I’ll be teaching at the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind.

Of course, my career is not the only thing I’m thinking about.  I also dream of having a happy and healthy family and perhaps a house of my own.  Getting accepted at Flagler is just the beginning of my journey toward becoming who I want to be, but like other things in life, I know this will be vital to my growth as a person.

Essay Outline

Essay outline

I.  Personal information
I opted to begin the essay with my interests, academic inclinations, and the instances that led to the formation of these inclinations because I think it’s important for the admissions officers to have an idea of who I am and what made me decide to prepare myself for a teaching career.

II.  Reasons for wanting to pursue a degree in education at Flagler College
The reasons I have included in the essay to further introduce myself to the admissions officers are the following:
1.  My love for ASL or American Sign Language
2.  My great interest in teaching children
3.  The school’s impressive education programs for the hearing-impaired
4.  The school’s location and proximity to the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind
5.  My childhood dream of studying at Flagler College
6.  My desire to make a difference among the hearing-impaired community

III.  Obstacle I’ve faced
The obstacle I’ve discussed in the essay is about my financial situation because it was such a challenge to save enough money for my tuition at Flagler.  I’ve also included how I was able to deal with this obstacle with the hopes of reaching my goals.

IV.  Goals
The following are my goals that I have included in the essay:
1.  To combine my love for ASL and teaching children
2.  To study at an institution that offers high-quality, personalized education
3.  To teach hearing-impaired students at the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind
4.  To earn my master’s degree ten years from now
5.  To be happily married and have a family ten years from now
6.  To make a difference among the hearing-impaired community

By discussing my goals, the readers would have the chance to know my short-term and long-term plans, as well as how I intend to contribute to Flagler in case I get accepted.

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