sample admission essay

Here’s the raw biographic data we processed for the outline.  Reprinted with permission per the terms of our free sample admission essay outlines program :

1.      Personal bio information : 17 years old, male, ¼ Indian (Asian subcontinent) – I am the grandchild of an Indian immigrant. My grandfather (religion – Zoroastrian) emigrated here to go to college and eventually became a citizen.  I am heterosexual, live in Texas, high income level, US citizen (born in the US).  Plan to go to law school.  Undergrad – leaning toward business because the school I am interested in has a really top-notch business school.  Most of my academic interests, though, lean toward “how things work”, and sciences (AP physics was my favorite class last year).  So, I am considering something along the lines of a business school degree with a focus on computer science/applications programming.

Grades : Not in the top 10% (a huge consideration for Texas schools), but am in the top 20% at a very competitive high school (my high school is a public general admission high school (not a magnet or specialized school) that is listed as #52 in the current Newsweek high school rankings).  My grades are good – up through the first semester of my junior year last year, I had an average of 93.3670 (unweighted).  During last semester (the second semester of my junior year), I took 5 AP classes and made a GPA for that semester of 87.  I have taken 8 AP exams and made four 4’s and two 3’s (and a 2 but there was a distraction (fire alarm) reported by our school during the administration of that exam).

Test Scores : ACT – Composite score of 30 (Eng:  31; Math 27: Reading 35: science 27; Combine English/writing:  29); SAT – Critical Reading – 720, Math-660; Writing 680 (Mult. Choice 70; Essay 08).  SAT Math Level 1 Subject Test:  670.

2.      Specific Question(s) : Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

MBA/Medical School/Law School Applicants: N/A

Life Experiences: I participated on the JV tennis team for my school tennis team during my freshman and sophomore years.  In the summer between those two years, I took a summer school class (Health) to free up my school schedule to fit in tennis practices my sophomore year.  During the summer after my sophomore year I worked part-time for an orthodontist in order to see if dental school might an opportunity I’d like to pursue.  I like science, and also like working with my hands (origami, juggling), so I thought dentistry might be an interesting career option for me.  I really learned a lot of interesting things, and really enjoyed the work.  However, I decided to keep looking around at other career options.  One thing I learned from the orthodontist, Dr. _____, is that you really are a small business owner when you run your own dental practice.  He had majored in business for his undergraduate degree, and did all of his own taxes.  I saw many facets of how Dr. _____ ran his business and decided that, although I’m not particularly interested in running my own small business or professional practice, a background in business can be very valuable in all kinds of different careers.  This summer, I decided to try out a business class at the local community college to see how I liked it.  I am taking Accounting.  I also attended an Honors Colloquium at the university that I am interested in, and was able to meet and have lunch with some faculty from the business school.  These experiences have led me to believe that I would really appreciate and enjoy an opportunity to be a part of the business school.  I am not sure, though, that Accounting is something I’d want to major in.  Because I like science and learning how things work, I was particularly inspired by a session at the Honors Colloquium that covered computer programming and Artificial Intelligence.  This experience led me to decide to take a Computer Science course this upcoming semester.  I am hoping to meld these two interests in my undergraduate coursework by pursuing a business degree that is focused on information systems and business applications programming.  Regarding hardships, I tried out for the tennis team for my junior year, but did not make the team.  This was disappointing, especially since I had made the team the two previous years and had trained all summer for the tryouts.  This experience taught me that disappointments can lead to opportunity.  Because I had a free period last that would have been taken up with tennis practice, I was able to take a heavier and more interesting academic course load (I took 6 AP classes last year), including AP Physics.  I am interested in an urban southern university with a sort of “hippie” vibe.  I would characterize myself as a vinyl junkie and a “peace-nik” (I don’t go to protests or anything, but quietly live out my beliefs by writing letters to my congressman and senator, and am a member of the Lutheran Peace Fellowship), and enjoy informed debate with people of diverse viewpoints.  I love satire (Mark Twain, the Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Onion) because you have to really understand and think about the other side’s point of view in order to create good satire.

Favorite Quote or Song Lyric: Toss up between “Imagine all the people, living life in peace” (John Lennon, Imagine) and “Mama, put my guns in the ground” (Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door, Bob Dylan).  Both of these quotes speak to me because they advocate non-violence and I agree with their anti-war message.  I enjoying listening to both of these songs on vinyl, on my father’s old LP player from the 80’s, which he and I rebuilt together a few years ago.  My favorite hobby is collecting and listening to vintage vinyl LP albums.

Existing rough answer to the admissions question:

Question:

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Rough outlined answer:

To those who know me, I am a laid-back, satire-loving vinyl junkie who, truth be told, finds history a little dry and boring. So I surprised myself by choosing to write this essay about my U.S. History teacher,____________.  Surprising, that is, until I realized that _______ taught history in a way that appealed to my penchant for figuring out how things work and helped me recognize and develop my interest in understanding multiple points of view.

Multiple points of view.  My History teacher tried to help his students understand why things happened in history, not just how they happened

* Diverse points of view throughout history and how they influenced the relationships that ultimately wrote history
* He encouraged his students to try lots of “What if?” thinking in order to fully understand what the situations were and how they could have been different/avoided.
* Helped students to look at both sides of conflict throughout history. Helped show that the winning side wasn’t always in the right and how often there was grey area surrounding motives for conflict.
* For more recent history, he provided anecdotes from his personal life. Either personal experiences or stories told to him by older people. Helped to bring to life the history and to help relate to the situations faced by real people, not just dry facts but actual occurrences that affected the lives of people who lived at the time.

He tried not only to teach us history, but also how to think about history. He encouraged us to think for ourselves which allowed for a deeper understanding and mastery of the material.

* Tried to guide rather than instruct us. He made it feel like we were reasoning out what happened instead of just telling us who did what and when.
* More about understanding the reasons things happened rather than precise dates.
* Wanted us to follow the spirit of the law instead of just the letter. Wanted us to understand the rules and the reason behind them.

* Thought humor and satire were valuable teaching tools. Would always make super-lame history puns. Liked Colbert Report and Daily Show. When I wore a “Stewart /Colbert For President ‘08” shirt to school I got an approving look and a little fist pump from him.
* When leaning about the Witch Trials, he showed Monty Python.

Played music before every class when people were still coming in from the passing period. Including vinyl records and Stairway to Heaven. (Transition here to paragraph about vinyl collecting.)

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Our free college admission essay outline based on the biographic information and rough outlined answer above:

I. Personal biographic information
I have chosen to start the essay with my personal biographic information because I feel that it’s important for the admissions officers to have an idea of who I am and what my interests are. Aside from stating basic information such as my age and where I live, I have also included some facts such as the activities I do. These include being part of the JV tennis team during my freshman and sophomore years, liking origami and juggling, and having an inclination towards business.

The reasons I have selected to highlight certain information about myself are as follows:
1. The activities I have involved in reflect my diverse interests.
2. My interests range not just on the purely academic pursuits but also on those that promote my being healthy. I feel that a well-rounded individual would be a worthy addition to the student body.
3. My part-time jobs and my initiative to take up a basic business course reflect my inclination toward the field of business.

II. Life experiences
I discussed how I spent my free time and what experiences led me to choose a business program for college. These experiences include working part-time for an orthodontist, attending a business class at a local community college, and attending an Honors Colloquium at a university.

III. About my US history teacher
I have chosen my US history teacher as the person who has made a significant impact in my life. The qualities exhibited by my history teacher that I find admirable are:

1. his focus on the relevance of history to people in general
2. his ability to develop our critical thinking skills when he poses provocative questions
3. his style of covering every angle of a historical event
4. his unique teaching styles, which made up develop a deeper appreciation on the subject

Generally, I have chosen my US history teacher because he taught history in a way that made me like and understand the subject on a deeper level. He made me realize and develop my desire for learning how things work. Aside from that, he taught us principles that were applicable not only in history, but also in other subjects and different areas of our everyday lives.

Processing your medical school admissions requirements can be stressful, and not being able to understand basic terminologies can only make it harder for medical school neophytes. Most medical school admissions committees rightly assume that as an applicant, you have a background in medicine or have at least done your research on medical schools before you apply. That’s why it’s essential to have a grasp of the basic terms they use in medical school admissions. Listed below are some of the commonly used words and acronyms in medical school admissions processes and in med school in general:

American Medical Association (AMA) – a professional association composed of physicians that establishes and promotes educational, ethical, and clinical standards for the medical profession and practice in the US.

Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC) – AAMC is an association of accredited United States medical schools, and is responsible for the Medical College Admission Test which is required in medical school admissions in the US and Canada.

American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS) – AMCAS is a centralized application service for those applying to paricipating medical schools.

Clerkships – rotations around various clinical settings of medical school; can be elective or obligatory. Clerkships are usually conducted in the students’ third and fourth year in the US. Hospital tie-ups for clerkships are usually one of the FAQs by those going through medical school admissions processes.

Discipline-based approach – a teaching method employed in med school that involves teaching various disciplines such as anatomy, pathology, or surgery as separate educational blocks. Applicants can ask medical school admissions staff regarding the teaching methods and approaches used in the specific medical school.

E-Health – refers to health services and products given over the Internet. E-health is an umbrella term that covers all educational, commercial, and information services. Health information and details on medical school admissions processes can be considered as part of E-health.

Graduate Medical Education (GME) – refers to fellowships and residency trainings after medical school. Information on GME options are usually included in medical school admissions kits.

Health System – composed of different health elements that communities, offices, and educational institutions follow. Health systems and practices may have slight variations depending on the district, region, and province. It’s recommendable for applicants to get acquainted with the local health system before going through medical school admissions to different schools.

Integrated Teaching – in contrast to the discipline-based approach, the integrated teaching method presents different subjects as a unified whole. If you want to get educated in separate disciplines, make sure you check with the medical school admissions staff if they offer discipline-based classes as electives. Information like this is necessary before going through medical school admissions processes.

NCLEX-RN -  A licensing examination required by all states before registered nurses can practice in that particular state.

Residency – the training period for a medical specialty that medical school graduates go through. The length of residency depends on the chosen specialty but usually ranges from three to seven years.

USMLE or US Medical Licensing Examination – an exam that med school graduates would have to take in order to get a practicing license in the US.

VMCAS or Veterinary Medical College Application Service – a comprehensive application service that caters to students applying for veterinary medical schools.

World Federation for Medical Education (WFME) – The WFME is affiliated with UNESCO and WHO and promotes global training and education of doctors.

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For someone who has no background whatsoever in business and management jargon, it’s easy to get lost in the tangle of words people use in MBA admissions. It’s expected of applicants to do their own research before going through the MBA admissions processes, so you should do your own vocabulary update before facing the MBA admissions committee. Having some knowledge on even the most common terms used in MBA schools also shows that you’re an “insider” and that you know what you’re talking about. Below are some terms and acronyms often encountered in MBA admissions and business schools:

ACBSP or Association of Collegiate Business Schools and Programs

ACBSP is an association that establishes and promotes educational standards in business schools, including MBA admissions processes, school curriculum, etc. ACBSP operates mainly in the US and is currently considered as an accreditor for small graduate MBA degree programs.

Association of MBAs (AMBA)

The AMBA is a UK-based accreditation organization that focuses on, and approves, quality MBA programs in the UK and in other countries.

Company or corporate programs

Company programs are private MBA programs that are offered only to employees of a specific company. These kinds of “specialized” MBA programs also have different MBA admissions procedures because they cater to a specific group.

Distance Learning or Online Programs

As the name implies, these kinds of MBA programs employ teaching methods that are conducted online. These programs usually cater to professionals who can’t afford to leave their jobs or do not have the flexibility of time to go to campus-based classes. MBA admissions procedures and requirements for distance learning are generally less demanding; not all online programs require GMAT scores and letters of recommendation.

Dual MBA program

As the name implies, this is a type of MBA program which allows students to take two major fields of business study under one program.

Executive MBA (EMBA)

Executive MBA programs are differentiated from regular MBA programs in that the former are essentially designed for managers and executives with years of professional experience. EMBA degrees are usually part-time or modular. Similarly, MBA admissions requirements differ because those who take EMBA degrees are experienced professionals.

Focus or concentration of study

Most MBA programs employ integrated teaching methods – they cover a wide range of management topics. Having a focus or concentration of study allows students to take courses that are aimed toward specific aspects of management like Finance and Marketing. In the MBA admissions process, the focus of study is usually disclosed in the applicant’s statement of purpose or personal statement.

GMAT (Graduate Management Admission Test)

The GMAT is an essential MBA admissions requirement that measures the applicant’s writing and quantitative skills. The minimum required score for the GMAT is usually 400-600, and is one of the ways through which MBA admissions committees filter their applicants.

Modular MBA

This kind of MBA program doesn’t have “normal” class schedules as compared to full-time MBA degrees. As the name implies, students’ attendance are dependent on the modules being taught, and these programs usually require fewer but longer class periods. MBA admissions requirements for modular degrees are also different from full-time MBAs.

Open program

Open MBA programs are differentiated from the others in terms of the MBA admissions requirements. Such programs do not have the usual academic MBA admissions requirements, and for this reason, are called ‘open’ programs. This program is usually targeted for those who don’t meet the academic requirements but have substantial professional experience.
TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language)
TOEFL is one of the common MBA admissions requirements for non-native English speakers.

Statement of purpose

Also called personal statement or admission essay, the statement of purpose is a common MBA admissions requirement. It outlines the applicant’s career goals, academic and professional achievements, etc.

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